Findings of Myself
by NeoAthena
Summary: Rei begins to muse about emotions and feelings along with her purpose. Asuka is being shipped off and Shinji is commended to stay with Rei so she doesn't try to take anything out on him. RXS
1. Why?

Findings of Myself

Prologue-Why?

Who am I?

I was Rei. I was part Angel; part past. I was a pilot of a man made angel. I was the first children, but yet some how the third rate. I was the so-called wonder girl. I was alone.

Who am I?

I am Lilith. I am Yui. Together I make Rei. I am the protector of Shinji Ikari. I am the replacement for Gendo Ikari. I am still a pilot, but with more control. I don't want to be alone.

What is my purpose?

I helped defeat the Angels and complete Human Instrumentality, now what? To pilot Eva. No that can't be. To follow orders. I can't because I have free will. To help Commander Ikari and Ikari-Kun. Maybe, but that is not it entirely. To find my true self. To be separate from the entities known as Yui and Lilith, to no longer be just another doll. Yes that is it.

What do I feel?

Pain. Anguish. Incomplete. I want to feel something else. Maybe I do. Maybe I am just not alert enough to realize it. But I believe this, too, is part of my purpose for the time being.

What do I want?

I want memories, not just fuzzy pictures. I want a friend. I want a worthwhile purpose, not just to be an expendable object. I want to be noticed. I want to be seen.

"Please get off"

Why did I say that? No that wasn't me. That was she, the second, I am different. I don't remember it all. Just blurry flashes and that one picture. I was seen; I was noticed. But it wasn't me.

Why did she ask that?

Because she had free will. It was uncomfortable for her. She didn't know what to do. It was expected. What other reason could there be? She must have wanted to be noticed. Or maybe she wasn't entirely the same as me.

"Thank-you"

It was me. He helped me. He noticed me. I was shown kindness. Even the though tingles and brings color to my otherwise pale skin. But why? What is the meaning of this? Someone must know, and I must find out.

How will I find out?

Misato. I think I can approach her. She must know. Maybe she can tell me more then that also. I still probably won't understand, but Misato is better then Dr. Akagi. I have blurred memories of her mother too. But only small ones, since it felt like I could get no oxygen, or so I am reminded.

End of Prologue

ME: I don't own Evangelion, unfortunately. Tell me what you think with a review, even if you hated it. Chapter two won't be written like this, promise.


	2. Plunging

Chapter 1-Plunging Part 1

A pale, slender girl with deep crimson eyes and sky colored hair walked along the sidewalk. She had the girls high school uniform on along with a few bandages along her arms. Her bag for school was carried in her left hand carefully, as if she held it to tight her hand would break.

This was the physical appearance of Rei Ayanami on this particualr Friday afternoon. She was walking toward the Katsuragi/Ikari/Shoryu residence in Tokyo three. Asuka and Shinji were called straight away to NERV after school to do some more sync tests, so she was hoping Misato would be home sinc she hadn't been there yeserday.

She never imagined talking to Misato for more but a few words, and now she was approaching her with a whole beig topic. About emotions. About herself. About Shinji. And she wanted answers.

Misato was laying at home with a cold. She laid down, eating some instant Ramen, watching really bad daytime TV. A beer was on the tissue littered table, along with some of her freshly washed clothes that needed to be put away.

She expected to be along entil a little after six when Shinji and Asuka would be home. Asuka would go in her room and complain about something while Shinji, on the other hand, would see what needed to be done, do it, and close himself off in his room.

Misato egan to cough violently. It wasn't a simple cough, but the kind that scratches your throat. When she was done she took a swig from the beer can and seetled back in to a comfortable postion. Once she was comfortable there was a knocking at the door. She smiled while getting up.

'Kaji came to make sure I got better!' she thought happily to herself.

"Coming!" she said in a raspy imitation song like voice. She opened the door to reveal Rei. "Oh,"" she said, a bit perplexed by the girls apperence at her doorstep. "Hello Rei."

"Hello Major Katsuragi," Rei says nodding her head.

Misato sneezes and sniffles. Her eyes began to water as she patted her nose with a used tissure.

"God bless you," Rei sysa almost kindly.

"Thanks," she replies, blinking the tears out of her eyes. "olease come in. Afraid the place is a mess. I mean Shinji hasn't been home to clean it yet," she says placing her arms behind her head. Misato looksa t Rei's face and sees the light red tinge on her cheeks.

"Are you not feeling well also?" she asks innocently, "Or is this about something else?"

"Something else Major," the teenager says quietly. "I want to know about feelings."

"Oh, please leave off the 'major'. Just Misato 'k?" she asks. Rei nods as a reply. "What feelings do you want to know aobut Rei? I'll help as much as I can. I am far from an expert."

"Friendship. What does that feel like?" she asks, intensely looking at Misato.

"Friendship? Well friendship feels like confidence, as if you have back-up to do anything. You have the love and support of that person on a deep level, like they were there your whole life and you just didn't realize it. I suppose that is what friendship is."

"Really?" Rei says almost astonished. "So what makes it any different from love?"

Misato thought about how she should anser this. 'Should I use my feeling for Kaji and just go from there? Maybe. Or maybe I should just ask her what she needs it for. There are different degrees of love when you are a teenager after all.' She thought for a few more moments, looking at the clock. Suddenly the door flew open just as she finished her thinking process.

A certain red head came storming in, mumbling in German, tears welded up in her eyes. Her body was tense and her eyes looked as though they would shoot daggers at anyone who crossed her path.

She turns to Misato and screams, "Du haste mich!"

Asuka pushes through, not noticing the blue haired piolt standing there. She throws up her arms before entering her room and screams "Alles hast mich!" and stomps off.

The ever so comical sweatdrop appears on Misato and she holds a finger up to Rei, silently promising to be back in a moment. She walks off to the cusing German girl's room. Rei stands there looking astonished at the outburst.

_That must be anger. An anger that is irreplaciable. Anger is caused by negitivity. What happened to make her react like that? I did not know humans were capable of such emotion. I have never seen such an outburst. _

_Is that what is expected when something bad happens to someone? Is there not 'sadness' as well? There are so many, how can she respond with just one? Or is she not? Is there deeper feeling that she feels besides anger? This is all so much, and I know so little._

_How do Misato and Ikari-kun deal with it?_

Misato taps gently on the door before entering. Asuka is crying heavily inside, her head resting on her hands, eyes already bloodshot.

"What did you say?" Misato demands, refering to the German phrases.

"Du haste mich! Alles hast mich!" Asuka repeats, sobing between breaths. "You hate me. All hate me," she then translates looking at Misato.

"Since when?"

"The commancer said I wasn't needed anymore. Kaji left. You don't care. Baka Shinji loves a doll and doesn't realize it," she begins. She closes her eyes and stops. "I am doomed to the same fate as my ancestors."

"Asuka! Knock this bull-shit off!" Misato screams, slapping her. "You think Shinji and me are bad? Listen to yourself. Wallowing in self-pity. I thought you were stronger."

Asuka keeps her face in the postion Misato slapped it to, as if unfeeling and uncaring towards it. "Who cares? My life is over. I am going back to German in four days," she states, looking away.

"Fine. And Shinji is not a baka nor does he love a doll. Rei has gotten past that if you would look past your own nose. And have you ever thought the reason you have lost your postion at NERV is because of your terrible demour? I mean there is the theory that your personality is reflected in your sync-ration," Misato says with her eyes narrowed. Asuka ignored her and just looked around the room. Misato sighed and stood up, going to leave when she heard the German girl say "Ich hast du," or I hate you.

NeoAthena: I don't own Evangelion

This was a really long chapter and I decided to split it in to two just for the heck of it. Please review, it keeps me going and gives me something to look forward to. Any problems with facts and stuff just tell me, and I will do my best to mention any correction, okay?


	3. Plunging part 2

Chapter 2- Plunging Part 2

Rei took the liberty of sitting down at the dinning table while Misato was away. She gazed around the apartment, enjoying the sheer size of it. Her old one was so small and compact and her new one so empty that this one was just right. Her gaze fell momentarily to Asuka's door and before she could look away it opened. Rei stood up to be polite to her host as soon as she exited the angry teen's room.

Misato was gazing at the floor, wishing there was more she could do. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply to calm herself down before looking to Rei.

"Let's go for a walk. We can talk, pick up Shinji, and go out to dinner," she said, voice soft and a slight, kind smile on her face. Misato looks back to Asuka's room, and sighs, running a hand through her hair.

"Yes, that sounds good," Rei said. "But what about your cold?"

_Is that concern in her voice?_ Misato thought for a moment in disbelief. Rei was not supposed to show these emotions, at least not in theory. Then again it was only a theory, right? People could disprove them; people did it all the time. It was just so hard to believe that this empty shell of a person was showing an emotion and not knowing what it was. No wonder she had questions.

Misato came back and smiled brightly. "That is why some person with no life created Tylenol and pocket tissues," she says with a nod.

Misato takes two Tylenol with a swig of beer and stuffs a couple of packs of pocket tissues wherever they will fit.

The two head for the door, putting their shoes on, Misato chattering away about nothing. Pen Pen comes out and looks to Misato questioningly.

"Don't worry Pen Pen. I'll bring you back something," Misato, says to reassure the penguin. "Oh, and don't get to close to Asuka."

They leave, Pen Pen left behind to fear for his life.

Shinji was kept longer then expected. Apparently his father wanted to talk to him about something. Asuka had left in a hurry after being called out of tests only a half an hour after they got there. He would have talked to her but she started to yell at him in German and Japanese mixed. Two languages at once was almost as hard to understand as one, so he caught none of it.

As he got changed, he thought about all of the things his father may want to talk to him about. Maybe they were disbanding NERV? Not likely. Maybe he just wanted to know how Shinji was? Even less likely then disbanding NERV.

He ran some warm water over his face from the sink and looked in the mirror. Why was he even here? Oh yeah, because his so called father summoned him here two years about.

Now being 16 maybe Gendo wanted his son to go away? Highly likely. Gendo seemed to like to erase any memories of his life before his wife's death, including Shinji. Unfortunately he needed Shinji to pilot Eva Unit 1 which ironically was theorized to contain his mother's ego.

Shinji continued to think about all of this. Would he leave if ask to? No. He loved someone for the first time in his life. But who? He love Misato like a second mother, but he would never tell her that. Asuka was a pain in the ass sister, but loved like a sister nonetheless. Who else was there?

A certain crimson eyed girl that's who. He knew all about the dummy plug and how they created Rei, but still he loved her for her. She was different, not as conceded too difficult as the others. Quiet but assertive to who she could be, determined also. Who would not love that?

He opened the locker room door and started for his dad's empty office. On the way, other officials of NERV were whispering and he could've sworn he heard Asuka's name multiple times. As he passed the control room Akagi Ritsuko came out.

"Oh Shinji!" she said a bit surprised. "Isn't the exit in the other direction? Your testing is done for the day."

"Yes Dr. Akagi," he replies to her nodding, "but my father actually wants to talk to me."

"Oh. I wouldn't get my hopes up to far," she says somberly.

"Yeah, I figured that," he says waving bye and continuing on. He passes person after person, kind of getting sick of the constant whispering.

He reached his father's office and opened the door without even knocking. _He is rude to me; I can be just as rude back,_ Shinji thinks with a slight smirk. Gendo is sitting there in his usual position, almost looking bored. He removed one hand from his normal position and waved his son coldly forward. Shinji gulped, straightened his stance, and carefully stepped forward to the man he called father.

"Hello Shinji," Gendo said.

"Hello father," Shinji replies as nicely as possible. "Why am I here?"

"I wish to temporarily change your living position."

"Why? I mean Asuka has gotten better and Misato is a like a sister," he lies. Shinji dare not speak of his thought of Misato as a mother towards Gendo.

"Ex-Pilot Shoryu will be leaving for Germany in a few days," he says. "She will be, irritable, no, that is not strong enough a word. More like revengeful towards you for the next few days. The less contact the better."

"She has gotten that bad, huh?"

"Yes. Now, you have a choice to live with Ayanami or me," he says getting to the point. "Ayanami herself has been relocated to a better apartment due to code violations in her building. She seems to be having trouble adjusting. Others have said that you two have a platonic relationship, so maybe you can help."

"Has Rei got space for me to sleep?" Shinji asks wanting to help his friend.

"Yes," Gendo replies, looking impatiently at the boy.

"Fine, I will stay with Ayanami then," he says hastily to his father.

"Fine. I believe Major Katsuragi is waiting outside," Gendo says, turning his chair away from his son.

Shinji was going to say something, but decided against it. He turned around and walked away, out the door to go find Misato and tell her the news.

Once Shinji leaves Gendo bends his head back looking at the ceiling.

"Where did I go wrong?" he asks no one in particular there, but someone in his heart.

NeoAthena: Thank-you to everyone who has reviewed so far. You guys are the reason I am getting these chapters out so quick. The spelling errors in the previous chapters were actually from spell check and I am sorry about them, I will look closer from now on. I don't own Evangelion.


	4. Understanding Under the Stars

Chapter 3- Understanding Under the Stars

Rei never knew that you could make a friend so easily. People made it out to be such a complicated process. Yet, here she was walking next to Misato as though they were friends. Of course Misato was blabbering away, trying to explain love. Rei was just having fun listening to each different explanation and Misato get flustered so easily.

They were about three blocks from NERV's entrance. The streetlights had come one a little while ago and the night was clear. Star twinkled above, the moon seemingly guiding them through the sky.

"Do you think the third children loves me?" Rei asks out of nowhere.

Misato stops dead in her tracks, a bit astonished by Rei's forwardness. _This was what Asuka meant. Could it be possible? Could it be allowed? I mean, somewhere in the gene pool those two are related. Maybe closer then I know of, _Misato thinks quickly.

The thoughts continued to race through her head. Then she came to another thought. That Asuka liked Shinji. But did Asuka love him? Rei apparently did. Then again, Rei didn't even know what love was yet, let alone any of these new found feelings.

Misato looked at Rei and saw the faint red glow along her cheek line, along with the patience of waiting for an answer.

"I don't know," Misato said honestly. "I can't decide my own feelings let alone Shinji's. You will just have to ask him."

"But is he not supposed to ask me?" Rei asks a bit confused. She had read many books, and some of them had elements of romance in them. In the romance books, the guy always asks the girl. "In my books-" Rei began.

"That is all fantasy, nothing in life happens that way," Misato says look8ing off to the side. "My life was nowhere near one of those books. Is yours like that?"

"I wish I really knew. I try to remember, but most of the memories are just blurs," she says, a bit saddened.

"Sorry," Misato says placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're trying to change that. That is good."

Rei nodded and smiled faintly. They continued to walk to NERV, trying to make sense of boys and love and life and how they all fit. Of course, Misato did most of the talking, Rei not having any idea what would happen after tonight and Misato having more experience.

The blue haired pilot listened intently though, learning all that the purple haired woman could teach her. Misato was amazed that the sixteen-year-old Eva pilot never went on an all out shopping spree either. No wonder Rei has nothing else to wear, right? She didn't understand how this girl missed out. Then again she had no mother, no sister, aunt, or any other female influence on her life. _Well now she has me,_ Misato thought triumphantly.

A few moments and detailed explanations about the joy of shoes later they were standing outside of NERV. Fuyustki was sitting outside, just looking at the sky. Rei and Misato looked at each other, eyes asking the other what he was doing.

"Beautiful setting, isn't it?" he says, not removing his gaze from the heavens. "Especially to tell someone you love them. Whither it be as a friend, family, or soul mate. No one should let this opportunity pass. Not like most have."

Misato was puzzled by his comments, but Rei stared at the man understandingly.

"Yes sir. I agree," Rei says standing completely straight.

"Commander Ikari has told the third children that he can stay at one of two places, while the second children gets ready to leave," he says. "I believe you were told, Ayanami?"

She nods her head. Misato's jaw dropped in surprise and dismay. Why wasn't she told of this? She was Shinji guardian after all.

"Heh, excuse me, sir, but what do you mean?" Misato says a bit angrily, trying to control herself.

"Ikari has given his son a choice to temporarily stay with him or Rei."

"What?! He gave a sixteen year old boy that choice!"

"Yes. He believes it to be a win-win situation. Shinji is away from the second children during this horrid time and Rei is given constant hum interaction.

"How deep of human interaction does the commander want and why wasn't I informed? I am his guardian!" she says taking a step forward.

"And the commander is his parent, Major Katsuragi," he says in a calm, but stern voice. "He should be out soon, Major. Take him home, allow him to get some things for the next week and escort him and Ayanami to her residence."

Misato, still upset, tensely nodded her head. Fuyustki stood up and turned to leave.

"Good night Major," he says to Misato. He turns his head to Rei. "Remember what I said, Ayanami."

Rei nods her head before looking up at the sky herself. Could she tell him? Was that possible?

_Yes of course it was_, she thought. _Many people do this on a daily basis. Of course it was after weeks of being with each other. Yet, we have fought together against Angels, would that not draw us closer?_

Misato disrupts the peace by lightly tapping on her shoulder.

"Did you understand a word he just said about telling someone that you love them?"

"Yes," Rei says with a soft, true smile. "A part of me did."

NeoAthena: Hey. How am I doing so far? This was just a kind of there chapter…something to shove in between. I don't own Evangelion blah blah blah…you know the deal. I thank everyone who has reviewed "Findings of Myself" so far. Some of the refrences, like the Gendo in the last chapter would be better understood if you read my story "Days to Remember" which is all about Gendo and Yui. Now I will shut up so see you!


	5. Encounters of An Odd Kind

Chapter 5- Encounters of an Odd Kind

Shinji thought about his father's words. He must have been lying. HE was actually considering sharing a roof with his own son? How odd. Maybe his father realized that he was the only family he had left? It wasn't likely since Gendo had been pushing family away for all these years, but then again anything was possible.

Anyway Shinji had picked Rei. Not only because they were… he supposed friends, but it was hard to tell with her, but he liked her. Plus he didn't want to be responsible for what he might say to his father. He had a life now, why would he ruin it for a man he hardly knew and had no intention of getting to know?

Shinji walked out the exit and took a deep breath. He enjoyed the silence that night always brought. His father had said something about Misato waiting outside. He looked around for her, but saw Rei first. Her pale skin glowed slightly in the moonlight and her blue hair stood out, swaying ever so gently in the midnight breeze. He stood there, watching the girl with a tender smile.

Misato, who was standing on the other side of Rei, watched Shinji come out and where his attention was drawn to. _Why didn't I notice this before? Maybe the feeling is mutual,_ she thought with a mental chuckle.

Rei had turned her head and, having seen Shinji, was now walking calmly over towards him. Misato followed, about five steps behind, observing the two closely, trying to pick up things that she had missed before.

"Hello Misato and Re-, uh, Ayanami," he stuttered, unsure of how to address her.

"Hello Ikari," Rei replied quietly. "Misato and I thought it would be nice to pick you up for dinner since you will be staying with me."

"Oh, yeah," he responded, smiling a little. "You don't mind, do you, Rei?"

This was one of the few times he had used her name. She found it made her feel warm inside and tingle with anticipation. _Is this happiness? _she thought a bit off the subject. _Can I feel happiness? I think this is happiness, and I am happy that I can feel it._

Rei shook her head in reply, the question of no concern anymore. Then there was profound silence. Both parties wondered if the other was about speak or should they speak first instead, and what about messing up?

Misato couldn't stand just stand still and stay quiet at the same time, so acting upon instinct, she put her arms around them. It shocked them both, eliciting a quiet gasp from Rei and quite the shriek from Shinji.

"Where are we going to eat?" she asks rather excitedly, trying to get rid of the tension. She dragged the two teens off and started rambling off places, most of which were cheap, but hey, it IS food.

Rei and Shinji glanced at Misato who was practically skipping now. Shinji shrugged, and began to keep up and make it easier for her. Rei, on the other hand, hesitated for a moment, unsure if this was appropriate behavior in public, but walked after them all the same.

Misato then took the lead, Shinji behind her and Rei at a slight diagonal angle from him. Rei was afraid of getting close and Shinji was afraid of allowing Misato to see him. Then again, Misato was too busy talking about whatever food came to mind, missing three restaurants and two ramen carts on the way. Shinji's stomach began to growl violently, making Misato stop in her tracks and turn to face him.

"Are you really that hungry?" Misato asked doubtfully.

"Yeah," he replied, head dropping a bit. "Asuka took my lunch and there was nothing to eat at NERV."

Rei heard this and an odd look came across her face. It looked like she was almost disgusted, but not quite. Like she couldn't put her finger on what she felt… maybe it was anger too? There were so many emotions to choose from and such little time to express them. She wasn't even sure why she felt this way, but she had a feeling it had to do with Asuka.

"Misato," she said, "can we just eat at the next place? We still have to get Shinji's things ready."

"Misato looked strangely at Rei. Two different accounts of forwardness in one day! But this one had more to do with logic. Yet, it was proof enough that she was having more human thoughts.

"Sure, Rei," she replied. "Shinji, what do you want?"

"Um, I don't care," he answered, shrugging. "Whatever you would like is okay."

Shinji glanced at the two women, feeling as though he was being ganged up on. He had planned to ask Rei out soon, even though she would probably be clueless. The plan, though, had included Misato not being there and him having some money. But this wasn't a date, or at least as far as he was concerned.

Rei, on the other hand, was jittery on the inside, unsure of what this was. She had heard of people going out to eat as a date. But was that also for three people? Could it be for three people? Japanese culture traditionally did not believe in polygamy, but these were modern times, of which she knew little about. This was just another question for Misato when the time presented itself.

Finally, Misato stopped at a suitable-looking place and decided to order some food. Shinji was about to sit next to the blue-haired albino, but Misato quickly sat in between, a bit nervous of what that could lead to right now. Rei looked quizzically at Shinji, but it was not noticeable to passersby and Misato. She felt something, but was unsure what it was.

The sound of screaming floated to their ears from across the street. Two people were arguing, a common enough scene in the world. _That must be true anger_, Rei thought. _So when I wish to scream, is that anger as well? What if it is a positive scream? Would it be happiness?_

She did not feel like screaming now. She felt like disobeying Misato, like going against her orders and just pushing the woman aside so she could sit next to Shinji. So then what was this?

"Rei," Misato called, bringing the girl back to from her reverie, "What would you like?"

"Just some vegetable ramen if I may," she responded quietly, looking down at the counter in front of her.

Misato nodded slightly and fed the order to the waiter, allowing Rei to return to her previous thoughts. She couldn't feel this way towards Misato, especially after all the help she had given her. After all, she was acting on motherly instinct, or something like that right? It was all explained in her psychology books. Shinji was the child that needed to be protected, and Misato would perform that task flawlessly.

Rei smiled, happy with her conclusion and unknowing of Shinji's gaze on her. He watched each motion the girl made diligently and tried his best to memorize each delicate feature on her face.

The waiter placed the order down, bringing each teen back to the present. Misato slurped down some noodles noisily, much to the disgust of nearby fellow customers but never noticing the dirty looks they constantly threw at her, and cleared her throat dramatically.

"As your superior and someone who cares, I feel that I need to set a few… rules before the two of you start living with each other."

Shinji looked at her in disbelief and Rei just nodded in reply. Man, were they in for an earful.

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NeoAthena: Hi guys! This chapter is taking so long because I am getting it beta read and stuff. And thanks so much to my prereader Lone Wulffe! I don't own Eva and R&R in all ways possible!


	6. Rules Make the World Go Round

Chapter 6- Rules Make the World Go Round

"Misato! Do you really think we need rules?" Shinji said, turning tomato red.

Rei remained silent, put back into her usual "follow orders" mode. She was mentally exhausted, her mind still reeling from the previous rush of thoughts.

Shinji looked to her desperately, giving a silent plea for some assistance. Meekly and quietly, the girl whispered, "Without rules, there is chaos."

"Thank you, Rei!" Misato exclaimed with a bright smile. "Now first off, while either one of you is in the shower, the other one is to be locked up in a room. Secondly, the both of you are to sleep in different sides of the apartment."

A part of Rei wanted to ask why, but countless years of following rules made it exceedingly hard. She just listened and quietly accepted what Misato said, staring blankly at her soup.

A part of Shinji, though, wanted to stop Misato. Not only was this a bit, no, VERY embarrassing, but he didn't want anyone else's restrictions on him while he was with Rei. If he didn't want to do something, he wasn't going to do it because of himself and his morals, not a bunch of regulations set upon him by other people.

But hell! He was a teenage boy! He would love to 'sleep' in the same room as Rei. Hopefully Section 2 wouldn't have cameras or any other kind of surveillance around her house. That would be bad in case something slipped…or anything happened. Not that he was going to try and avoid that, mind you.

What was he thinking? Did he really want this or was it just something else? Was this another part of him that had recently only been discovered? The boy shook his head slightly. Maybe he had some soul searching to do as well.

"Thirdly, Rei has the right to kick you out at any time."

Things were interrupted for a brief moment when the waiter brought the bill and collected all the used bowls as Shinji tried to comprehend this last one. If Rei ever decided to do just that, where would he go? As far as he knew, he had no-one else to turn to. Rei looked down at her lap, silently wondering why Shinji wasn't speaking up. A small squeak erupted from somewhere around her, ending her momentary trance. Blinking, she looked up, only to see Misato getting up from her seat.

"Now, I am going to go to the bathroom before we leave," Misato announced. "I'll be right back. Don't leave without me," she winked before departing.

As soon Misato left, Rei's gaze fell on the empty seat, recently vacated by her superior. She tilted her head to the side, a contemplative look etched upon her features, and shrugged, immediately moving over to fill in the chair.

Shinji looked at her and turned beet red. He kind of stopped breathing and was desperately trying to look anywhere but right next to him. She was there now, and all he could do was act like a nervous wreck! How appropriate! He shot a quick, nervous glance over to her. Rei looked so calm, something which he could hardly say for himself. Looking at her, the boy could do nothing but stare. She was just sitting there so beautifully, like a single white rose in a sea of black. Redirecting his gaze back to its original position, Shinji smiled to himself, realizing he never wanted this to end.

But, like all good things, it came to an end all too soon. Misato returned to the table and looked at Rei curiously. Why had she moved over? Intent on getting some answers, Misato tapped the blue haired girl lightly on the shoulder.

"What are you doing in my seat?" Misato asked her calmly.

"I believe the correct term is, 'Finders keepers, losers weepers,' is it not?" Rei replied simply.

Misato's jaw dropped and hit the ground with a loud 'THUNK' while Shinji stifled, or at least attempted to stifle, a laugh. Having said that, Rei stood up quietly and looked down the street.

"I do believe we should get going. It is getting late."

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NeoAthena: Thanks for all the reviews! This is my most reviewed story so far! Also thanks to Lone Wulffe for Beta-ing the chapter!


	7. A bit of a Wrath

Chapter 7-A bit of a Wrath

The three walked home in silence. It wasn't really welcome or comfortable for them either. Misato was afraid of saying something, Shinji was a bit baffled as to what to say, and Rei was being Rei for the first time all day. The turned a corner and heard some smashing coming from the direction of Misato's apartment, suddenly a bit more afraid of what they were about to see then what each other was going to say.

The street lamps flickered as Shinji and Misato dashed up the stairs, throwing open the door to their apartment. There was the red head assaulting the bookcase…

Rei approached them and looked over Shinji's shoulder, chin lightly brushing over his shirt. She reconciled back at the feel of fabric and stood against the guardrail, waiting for the two to figure out what to do. Angry German girl usually equals disaster.

Misato slowly walked in the door, going over to Asuka and gently pulling her away from the furniture. Pen Pen poked his head from around the corner, a bit of a bald spot on the top of his head. Misato turned the girl to look her in the eye, Asuka's head now bent, hands balled into tense fists.

"What happened?" Misato asked, trying not to raise her voice.

"Nothing."

"Bull-shit. What happened?"

Asuka lifted her head and looked out the door at Shinji and Rei. She sneered and tried to break out of the Misato's grasp, looking at Rei.

"You want to know what happened?" Asuka said, still looking at Rei, "She happened. It is all her. Everything would be fine if she just died!"

Shinji looked at Asuka in disbelief and walked up to her. He opened his mouth to say something, but shut it shaking his head. He pushed past them, going to his room.

Misato jerked Asuka around, grabbing her two shoulders a bit harsher now. Her face looked angrier, but not as angry as it could be. She breathed deeply out.

"Don't you dare think about taking this out on Rei. She did not create this mess, you did. Don't cause anymore trouble then you just have."

Asuka snapped out of Misato's grasp and began to walk reassured back to her room. "Oh, I shall. Don't you fret, little doll, I maybe leaving, but I shall make the grandest exit ever," she said looking back at the blue haired girl with a smile.

Rei just stood in silence, a simple nod as if to accept the challenge was all she did. Her blue eyes emptily reflected her surroundings as she stepped pass Misato and towards Shinji's room.

"Oh shit," was all Misato could say.

Asuka sat on her bed surrounded by a few empty boxes thinking to herself. She would make this life hell for them. But of course, she would do it slowly and painfully. She wanted the doll to suffer for what she did to her. All the showing up. Taking away the praise. Taking away his attention! She would die for it, Asuka would make sure, even if she herself died doing it.

NeoAthena: Now, everyone thought Asuka was just going to disappear for some reason, and I couldn't allow that to happen…I still have more bashing to do! Don't kill me for saying that! This was defiantly a more serious chapter compared to the others, but the next one will have elements of growth and funniness to them…Thanks to my friend Louie for pre-reading!


	8. Confusion

Chapter 8- Confusion

Shinji briskly walked to his room, upset by the happenings taking place. He stopped in front of his door, listening to a few more words. Bowing his head in anger, he closed his eyes, frustration etched on his young face. As he placed a hand on the door, a light touch registered on his shoulder. It was as though he was not even being touched by a full feather, the feeling so odd and almost surreal to his senses.

He turned around to see a very blank familiar face looking at him. Rei stood before him, not too close but not too far. Her red eyes betrayed no emotion and every muscle in her face was still. She was the perfect doll. No, that was what everyone called her. To him, she was just perfect.

She dropped her hand and stepped back, blinking her eyes just once. She acted as though she had something to say, and she did, but she would wait for his words. She believed that since Asuka's words were not directed towards him, his reaction would be different from hers, would it not? But now she wasn't so sure. Her mind was already in an over-drive trying to figure out her own emotions, let alone attempt to comprehend Shinji's.

Shinji's hands tensed by his side as she resumed her silence, neither willing to be the first to break the quiet. Why did she not speak? What could she expect of him? Why did she always have to do this? He knew the routine by now. He would speak first (he always spoke first), asking about the mission, she would tell him, he would then ask why she did this, and then she would say something like 'because she has nothing else' or that 'she must' and then leave.

Perhaps that was why he said nothing. He was afraid. Terribly afraid. Afraid of her leaving him; of not being there at his side; of her disappearing just like everyone else that he knew. What a foolish little boy, I say, what a foolish little boy.

"I… I… I don't know what to do, Rei. I want to hurt her for being so cruel to you for all these years, but I know that will make her worse at school tomorrow. I know she said she hurt you a lot, but I promise with all my heart I will protect you," he declared with conviction, stepping closer towards her. "Better than my father."

The last four words he uttered ever so softly, attempting to give her a hug. Her eyes widened and she panicked, ducking swiftly out of the way, causing Shinji to fall rather comically into a wall.

He slid down the wall slowly, a very slightly cringing Rei as she took in the sight. She had not meant to cause him harm in any way, but didn't these things come with a warning label?

She bowed a small bow, her hair obscuring her crimson eyes as she did so. "I am sorry. I thank you for your protection, Shinji-kun, but why did you just try and attack me?"

He turned to her, a look of slight disbelief written clearly on his features. Getting up and limping past her, he opened the door to his room and flopped down half dead on his bed. He hurt. Period. No ands, ifs or buts about it.

"Come here and let me explain a hug to you," he said, still lying down, motioning for her to approach him with his left hand.

The blue haired girl walked in obediently and shut the door quietly, thinking that this was some big secret that she was being told. She sat down on the floor, her gentle hands resting on her lap as she waited for Shinji to sit up.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you; I was trying to give you a hug. Hugs are used to show a person how much you care or appreciate them, I suppose."

"So you care for me then?"

"Well, they can also be used as a sign of friendship," he replied almost too quickly, his cheeks heating up furiously

"I see," Rei said thoughtfully. "Then may I give you a hug?"

Such a simple question cannot be answered so easily by a boy. He may have saved the world, but nothing in life came easily to him. His eyes darted around nervously and his palms became sweaty. Why was she asking him this? Why couldn't she just do it?

"Y-y-yes," the raven-haired boy stammered out as best as he could manage.

Slowly the girl got up and closed the distance between her and the boy. Rei clumsily enclosed him within her arms, trying to find a comfortable place for them. This was defiantly a bit more difficult then it sounded. Where was she to put her head? Should she of asked this beforehand? Finally she decided to rest it upon his shoulder, her cool breath caressing his neck as she did so.

At first, Shinji was very tense. It would have been easier if he had hugged her. He had been about to do it anyway. But this… it was totally different this way. Slowly he brought his hands up around her as he shivered at her every breath. He held on to her firmly as they stayed that way a little longer, neither wanting to let go, both feeling as though the imperfect world was finally complete and eternity had at last earned its meaning.

Suddenly the door slammed open to reveal a very surprised, and sneezing, Misato. She took a few steps into the room before her eyes immediately bugged out at the indecent, or at least in her opinion anyway, sight before her.

"OH. MY. GOD! You guys are already living in sin! AHHH! What'll happen when I'm not around to stop you? Out! OUT!" she screamed, but they seemed not to hear her. Upon noticing her words were having little to no effect, she began waving her arms in a shooing manner akin to a panicked mother hen, as if that could improve things. "Off! Shinji, get ready and pack your stuff! Rei, go sit in the kitchen or something! NOW!"

They finally broke off and began to get ready to leave, Misato watching the two of them the whole time like how a starved hawk watched its prey. Soon enough they were out the door and in Misato's car, heading towards a decidedly strange week…

NeoAthena: I know the chapters are short, but I think that it is better to have short, good chapters, than long boring, rambling ones that tend to lose your interest really quickly. Also, it's not that the characters are OOC, it's just that they have grown over the end of the series (which I am using the movies for). I'll try not to change too much, I like the universe just as it is, but hey, poetic license, ne? Thank you so much for reviewing and then also thenks to my Beta Lone Wulffe!


	9. An Amzing Reversal

Chapter 9: An Amazing Reversal

The ride over was quiet, and miraculously shorter than Shinji would have thought it would be. Then again, why would they place Rei too far way from NERV or Misato in case of any sort of emergency?

The area was nicer then he would have expected as well. It was rather high-scale compared to her old place, or even where he lived now. A few houses were there along with numerous sparkling apartment buildings, every building having intimidating steel gates with security codes, stoic guards and everything else meant to ensure a place's security. It was all too amazing for even his father to pull off. So why did he?

Shinji looked to Rei and noticed her eyes dropping slightly. _She must be really tired_, he thought with a smile. A large yawn escaped him, only then making him realize how tired he was too. The boy looked at the little clock above the radio, the numbers 11:30 shining in bright neon green lights. Sighing loudly, he looked back over at Rei, the lamps from the street flashing over her pale skin every so often. It made her almost seem to glow. The sight was amazing.

Maybe when they got settled she would continue to sleep so peacefully and then he could… well, let's just say they didn't have any school tomorrow.

_NO! Must not think ecchi!_ part of his mind screamed at him.

Just then Misato cleared her throat in an attempt to get Rei's attention, and at the same time stopping Shinji's train of thought. She didn't know the exact location of the girl's apartment after all. Every now and then she had gotten caught looking, or rather staring enviously, at the beautiful apartments as well, but she knew that the girl's building was coming up soon. After all, where else would there be black vans with three antennas fixed on their roofs parked outside?

Rei snapped back up from her leaning position, blinking rapidly. Shinji quickly glanced downward, not wishing to come in eye contact with her. The girl saw this and sighed inaudibly, but focused on Misato and gave her a nod.

"What do you need?" Rei asked her quietly.

"I don't know exactly where you live, Rei. Could you direct me?"

The girl simply nodded, looking around getting her bearings together. They were only a few streets away from the alley that would take them to her apartment building. It was hidden off the road, almost as though it were put back there for extra protection. She blinked and waited until they were a block before they needed to make the turn.

"Take a right at the next street. Then a left at the second driveway," she directed without moving. Another small sigh escaped her lips. _Almost there._ She was tired. It was already quite late at night and it had proven to be rather memorable later on in the day.

After all it wasn't everyday you got a male roomie. She had often heard the girls at school talking of sleepovers and slumber parties and often had she wished to see what one was like, but she highly doubted that those involved a male attendee. Come to think of it, it was probably thought rather scandalous.

Misato turned and slowed down, trying to count the driveways in the side street. There were no streetlights, and her car headlights were dim. She made it though, catching the driveway just before it was too late. They turned in and Misato's and Shinji's eyes grew wider than spotlights. The building itself was beautiful, one of the more contemporary models with marble as its main building material. Both easily guessed that it must have cost a normal person a fortune to live there.

Rei got it for free though, and she just held her famous emotionless stare as her gaze took in the massive structure. As Misato parked her car, the two teens undid their seatbelts. The light movement of the car as it was being driven into the parking space signified that it was safe to get out, which they all did. Misato and Shinji grabbed his stuff while Rei waited to lead the way. She walked silently, Misato behind her and then Shinji behind Misato. Together they approached the elevator door as she pressed the button to call it down. As the doors opened she stepped in and held it for the other two. Once they were all in she punched in a code before pressing the third level button followed by the 'close doors' button.

Slowly the elevator came to life, moving smoothly upwards. It made its stop almost as soon as it started, which made it a lot faster then the NERV elevators, Shinji thought. The doors slid open to reveal the long line of apartments. The group stepped out, Rei in the lead, the other two standing side by side behind her. She walked only four doors down before opening the next one without even inserting a key, proceeding to step into a much more lavish apartment compared to her old one.

She flicked on the lights to reveal a perfectly designed living room and kitchen with light blue and gray tones. The TV in the corner looked untouched and the fold-out futon in the living room was brand-new and stainless. The floors sparkled with unrivaled cleanliness and the kitchen appeared hardly used as well.

Turning towards the two of them, Rei gave a short, formal bow. "Welcome to my living quarters. I hope it is not in a bad condition."

Misato looked at her in disbelief. How could this girl even think of such a thing? Stepping forward after slipping off her shoes, she looked around the apartment appraisingly. "No, Rei, it's a beautiful place."

"Yeah, it really is. I can't believe NERV actually put you here," Shinji said, copying Misato's actions.

Rei nodded and glanced towards the hallway where the two bedrooms were located. She really wanted to sleep as soon as possible, but first she needed to make sure Shinji was properly settled and then get the mad woman out of her house. Okay, so maybe Misato wasn't all that bad, but still. She had a feeling that the major was going to have her share of problems with Asuka at home, so maybe the faster she got going the better. For all of them, that is.

"Shall I direct you to your quarters?" Rei enquired, not waiting for an answer. She just kind of, well, walked off in the direction of his destined room, expecting the two to follow her.

"Of course, I'm sure Misato is eager to leave as soon as possible," Shinji declared, smiling inwardly.

Misato and Shinji followed Rei into a room done all in tan. The futon was located on the far side of the room, a small closet on the other. A desk was pushed against the other wall, for what, Shinji didn't know. After all, it didn't even have a chair to go with it.

"Here you go. Everything else is self-explanatory. The bathroom is opposite the room left of yours. My room," she pointed, "is across the hall."

Shinji nodded while absorbing the information as Misato went over to Rei's door. "Is there any way you could lock this?" she asked, sliding said door open and close while inspecting it.

"No, I am afraid not."

"Sure, okay. Whatever you say," Misato replied while nodding before she glanced at her nails. "I am going to go, and hopefully not die a horrible death by Asuka when I get home. Nothing had better happen after I've left. Goodbye and goodnight," she waved back at them as she was leaving.

Shinji watched her leave the hallway and listened for the click of the door before turning back to where Rei was standing,

"So, Rei, where were we?" he asked with his eyes closed, only to hear a door close in his face. "Aww, I am sorry! What did I do?" All he got for a response was the sound of the light switch being flicked off. Sighing in resignation, he turned around and headed off to sleep.

NeoAthena: Is the length getting better? I think now that I am getting closer to what I want to do with the story it will be easier to write more. Also I am sorry. The small details I paid close attention to, not to mention all the homework I have been getting. Thanks Lone Wulffe again for beta-ing! Peace guys!


	10. An odd First Morning

Chapter 10

An odd first morning

NeoAthena: Hey guys! I am sorry that this chapter took so long to get out. I lost the draft, then got a block, then lost it again, and I still think it came out bad. Or at least short. Any way, I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed so far! You are the motivation that keeps me going!

The next day Shinji got up, forgetting he was over Rei's house. He opened the door and mechanical walked to the kitchen, not being fully awake yet. He made himself some breakfast and went to go sit at the table, finally realizing where he was.

"Ah! Rei! Sorry!" He said, shielding his eyes and blushing furiously. Rei blinked and looked at him, as if saying 'why?' She wasn't naked, or at least completely. She had a towel wrapped around her as she sat at the table. She truly just didn't understand him sometimes.

Shinji felt around for an exit and wound up falling over the leg of a chair, hitting his chin on the table and falling on the floor.

Rei looked down to him, tilting her head to the side. What was wrong with him? Why was he apologizing and falling over things? What was the purpose for covering his eyes? Was she ugly?

"Is there something wrong Shinji-kun?"

"Umm, well, Rei, your kind of, umm, half naked and sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast," he says wondering if she sees the oddness in this. He gropes for an edge of the table, eyes closed, finally finding it and pulling himself up with one hand. The other was to busy trying to hide his blushing face and his eyes that kept snapping open.

Rei just watched him, sipping her tea delicately. A human body was a human body to her. Why should she be ashamed? Even if men lacked in certain areas, according to the books, and then women lacked in others, why did her wearing a completely good towel bother him?

"Do you not do this at your other residence?" Rei asked, standing up to put her cup in the sink.

"No, Rei-san, I mean, there are, uh, two genders now living here. Shouldn't you be more discreet?"

"I don't see why I should change my routine for you. Anyway, Dr. Akagi wishes us to be present at NERV at oh-ten-hundred hours. Tardiness, she said, is not an option."

As she stood and walked to her room to get dressed for the day, he watched her in disbelief. How could on girl be so multidimensional? How could he be the only one to notice it?

He ate his meal in silence, pondering about the girl and her odd habits.


	11. Trying My hardest

Asuka Langley Soryu stood in the NERV locker room, guarded by two security personnel. She took out a picture of her and Hikari, a magnet mirror, and then finally her plug suit. She held it for a moment, remembering all the rage and anger held up inside of her. All of the power she possessed when she was inside of her Eva. Her eyes darted from side to side, looking at the guards.

She sighed and spun around, kicking the one guard in the head. The guard to her right reached out for her, but was knocked down by the other one falling. In their moment of frustration, she flipped the metal bench on top of them, taking their entrance cards, her plug suit, and running like the wind.

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Rei walked down the sidewalk, her eyes closed. All of her bandages were off, for a (rather welcome) change. Maya's new healing gel worked rather well.

Shinji ran after the blue haired girl, trying not to fall too far behind. After this morning's incident, well, he wasn't entirely sure what to do. Should he act like it was all cool or apologize profusely?

He looked behind him quickly, making sure no one was around. Rei had stopped abruptly, neither looking behind, in front nor to the side of her. Shinji continued to run, looking in front of him just in time to see a head of feathery blue hair before crashing into her and finally ending up on top of her.

Shinji turned deep red. His mouth was right near her ear, his chin resting on her shoulder. Her head was turned to the side; their lips were but millimeters apart. Her soft, cool breath met his rushed and warm ones. He swallowed hard, unable to move his body from this entirely horrible, yet equally comfortable position.

"Shinji…" Rei began, trying to look anywhere but at him.

"Wait, Rei. I-I-I'm sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. I… I…"

But before he knew it, his arm muscles gave out, causing him to end up positioned directly on top of her. Their lips met briefly for a very odd and dry kiss. Once Shinji realized what he was doing he jumped off of her, rolling to the side.

He stood up quickly and began to run away from the girl. He felt so horrible. How did that happen? Nothing was supposed to go wrong! This was supposed to be a week where he showed that he wasn't a clumsy, bumbling fool, and yet here he was being the perfect example of one.

Rei stood up slowly, her fingers on her lips. What was that? She briefly thought it could have been a kiss, but she had only heard of such things. Slowly and softly, she smiled, her face appearing its age and ever so radiant. She took a step forward, feeling lighter then ever. This was an amazing feeling and if it was just from Shinji, then could she hold it forever?

"Don't be sorry, Shin-kun. Please don't be."

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Gendo Ikari walked into the daylight for the first time in a week. He had lived, slept and breathed NERV day in and day out. Yet, for some reason, he felt that he should step outside today. He walked over to the bench that only the night before Fuyutsuki had sat on, talking philosophically to Rei.

He folded his hands as he had been doing for so long and looked down at them. _I didn't start doing this compulsively until Yui died._ The thought flew through his mind at the speed of light, and a look of bewilderment crossed his face for a brief moment. Slowly taking his hands apart and holding them before him, he tried to figure out something to do with them. He couldn't just put them down. After all, he was the head of a world protection service. Only politicians placed their hands at their sides; them and royalty. But what was the real difference?

He put them behind his head for a moment before removing them. Looking at them, he smiled before putting them back in their usual positions. _Oh well._

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NeoAthena: Still don't own Evangelion. I swear. Thanks to Lone Wulffe for prereading. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I hope this chapter moved the story along a bit. The Gendo piece is more allegory then anything. Just think about it and it may come to you. If not, he will be making many more guest appearances in the future. Peace!


	12. Living with an Angel

Asuka ran to the outskirts of Tokyo 3, where you could say the suburbs were. She sighed, walking down the street, bag in hand. She had tied her hair back, in hopes that people wouldn't realize her as much. She had no idea where she was going, who would think of taking her in. Nothing.

She sighed, feeling defeated. Had they really won? No, not yet. She may not win, but she would take someone down with her.

Kensuke sat in his desk at school. He was bored. There weren't any girls to look at, at least not yet. The one he was interested had a fiery temper, slashing words, and an interest in someone else.

Little did he know that this young lady was in a certain kind of trouble. He did not know of her layoff from her job, or some of the other circumstance. All he knew was that she was five minutes later then usual.

Touji was talking to Hikari by the window. They seemed to have formed a close bond since the Angels stopped appearing. Kensuke was envious of what Touji had.

Shinji walked into the room, out of breath. He went to go sit in his seat next to Kensuke, fixing his hair a bit the whole time. When he sat he put his head down on the desk, exhausted from running all that way. No wonder Rei was always in such good shape.

Kensuke looked at his friend and blinked. A good time to find out about his beloved from the source himself. He tried to put on his best innocent face, tapping Shinji on the shoulder.

"Asuka put you through a rough night?" he asked.

Shinji looked up, and smiled. "No, actually. I moved up to living with an angel, I think."

Kensuke looked at him confused. What was he, delirious? Had all these test finally gotten to Shinji's mind?

"So, no more Asuka?"

"Nope. She went back to Germany."

Kensuke stopped. Kensuke blinked. Kensuke freaked out.

"But why? What happened?"

"Something to do with her piloting. While she is leaving, I am staying with Re-I mean Ayanami," Shinji said, trying not to let the new familiar-ness out.

Kensuke just sat there, a bit upset. Why was she leaving. She may not be the best pilot, but who else did they have? He dropped his head in thought, so many of those little ideas that he had coming and going. All the (all be it short) memories they had. Why her? Why not Ayanami?

Ayanami walked into the school hallway. She slipped off her shoes and exchanged them at her locker, just as always. She shut the locker and turned the dial to sixteen, just as always. She turned right at the corner to go into the stairwell, just as always. She ran into some punk, unlike every other day.

"Watch is ghost girl!" the kid said, making some kind of rude gesture to her. She watched as he ran away, in shock at what just happened.

It wasn't so much the name calling as much as it was the sudden pain she felt from it. It was a new feeling, something that she was very unsure about. She placed her hand on her heart and felt it beating, throbbing, the blood racing to and from the organ. Was this rage?

She suddenly ran after the boy, up the stairs and around the corner. She wasn't sure which way she was going. All she knew was that she saw the boy. She caught up with him once he slowed down and tapped him on the shoulder.

As the boy turned around her fist connected with his jaw line. He blinked and looked at her amazed. Ghost girl had gotten a backbone. He smirked before punching her in the stomach, watching her crumple down onto the floor. He coughed, wanting to say something. He walked away into the classroom, the same one that she and Shinji had.

Shinji glanced over, trying to see if it was Rei. He was shocked at what he saw. A blue-haired form on the ground, breathing heavily. He ran out past the guy, going to Rei's aid.

"Can you speak Rei, come on, it is me, it is Shinji," he said frantically as she began to drift off into a feeling of numbness, closing her eyes.


	13. The Kindest Things cause Questions

Chapter 13- The Kindest things cause questions

Neoathena: Hey, I know it's been a while. There has been a lot of stuff going on in my life and I just now have found the urge to write again. Thank you to everyone who has read this story and I hope you continue to do so!

When Rei woke up she was in a familiar hospital room. Why did they always bring her here? It was as if she should just live here in this room instead of at her apartment. That would be more efficient probably.

Then again, if she did so, what would happen to Shinji? She told to allow him to live with her. Then again, the Commander had only told her that it would only be for a little while. What would happen to her once he left? Would she go back to being the quiet and reserved girl that she was? She sighed and closed her eyes once more.

Elsewhere in NERV, Shinji stood in his father's office, once again. Why did he seem to be here so much anymore? His father had never shown much interest in him before, and even less before he was a pilot. Yet ever since Asuka had left, he had been in here twice within two weeks.

"Shinji," Gendou spoke quietly, not turning to face his only son. "Asuka never showed up at the airport for her flight. The two agents who were to escort her there were found unconscious. You shall have to stay with pilot Ayanami for a bit longer."

Shinji blinked and then a small smile crept upon his face. Why did it sound like his father was apologizing? That had never happened before, not to mention that there was nothing to apologize for. He enjoyed living with Rei. "That is fine father. She seems to enjoy the company and it is much calmer and easier to study there."

His father smiled briefly before spinning around to face his son. "Very well then. Be cautious, though. Asuka may blame you for all that has befallen her."

Shinji thought about this for a moment. She tended to dislike it when he was superior. He simply nodded to his father, waiting to be dismissed.

"One other thing before you leave. The anniversary of your mother's death is approaching. I was wondering if you would mind going with me this year, instead of going separately like we do all the other times."

Shinji blinked to his father in surprise, but quickly recovered. "That may be nice…" he said quietly, his head tilted downwards.

"Very well," Gendou said, his mind conflicted over the question. He watched his son turn and leave, thinking of the ways they were both trying to change and how that change would have made Yui smile ever so slightly.

Shinji walked the familiar halls of NERV, also conflicted over what his father had just said. Hadn't he seen Rei with his father one year at his mother's grave? Why did he all of a sudden have such an interest in the son he for so long pretended not to have? What was Asuka planning to do to him? Was he even the target at all?

He shook all these thoughts before reaching the hospital ward, finding Ayanami's usual nurse and asking her if it was okay to see her. The nurse smiled pleasantly and informed Shinji that Rei would be ready to leave in a little while, but for now she was undergoing some more tests and couldn't really talk to anyone. He nodded and decided to leave NERV for the day.

Asuka stood in the garden that had once belonged to Kaji. She looked at Tokyo 3, eyes narrowed and stance rigid. To some she may look like a statue in the field, for her breathing was light and inaudabile. She tried to figure out who she could go to that would provide her a decent hiding spot. Hikari would tell someone, compromising her cover. The other girls in the class had started calling her devil girl before she had 'left'. The only one she could think of was Kensuke. The blubbering idiot had it for her so bad that he would probably do as she said the whole way through. Controling him would be easier then piloting Eva, for even with that, she still believed herself to be the best.

So the red haired girl went off, in search of Kensuke's house and the beginning of NERV's end.


	14. Revalations and Self Doubt

Findings of Myself

Chapter 14 Revelations and Self Doubt

NeoAthena: Now that I'm back in the writing mood, this seems to be going a lot quicker than I expected…Thanks to everyone who read! I still don't own Evangelion…

To Arm-slave: To me, Asuka is a bit crazy. You will just have to watch how she is developed in the long run. And I continued Gendou's humanization from another story that I wrote about him and Yui.

The red haired girl had waited until night to move in the city. She didn't want to risk running into any old classmates or acquaintances. The night was cold; colder than it should have been for this time of year. She was in the simple outfit that she had been wearing since her 'encounter' with the NERV escorts, which defiantly wasn't made for the cool night.

She was walking down a back alley where the lights flickered and obviously no one really cared about the up keep of it. Most teenage girls, she thought, wouldn't dream of walking in a place such as this at this time of night. This made her smirk. To Asuka, it was simply just another way that she was superior to most of the human race.

As she exited the alleyway and turned left, she recognized this as the street that Kensuke lived on. As she walked by each entrance she looked at the name plaques looking for idiot Shinji's stupid friend. She walked down about five houses when she saw his name. She looked up at the house and was surprised. It wasn't some dumpy little house, but one of the larger ones for Tokyo 3. She noticed a light still glowing on the second floor. She looked down around the ground for something that she could use to catch that persons attention, preferably Kensuke's.

She found a small stone and tossed it up to the window. It missed the window, but hit the nearby siding, still causing enough noise to catch a person's attention. Yet, no one came to the window. She tried again, this time hitting the window, causing a figure to get up. All she could see was the shadow of the figure, so she moved behind a nearby tree in the front yard and waited to some kind of conformation as to who it was.

The window was opened and it seemed about ten times louder than it should have in the quiet and peaceful neighborhood. A head poked out of the window, but to Asuka it was nothing but a shadow. "That was weird," said the annoying voice that she knew to be Kensuke's. She appeared from behind the tree.

"Hallo Kensuke! Guten Abend," she said in a sugary sweet voice. "I was wondering if I could ask you a favor."

Kensuke nearly fell out of his window at the sight of the red haired girl who he had a crush on. So many thoughts went through his head. Wasn't she supposed to be back in Germany? Did NERV change their minds? Was she still a pilot? Did she come by to say good bye? Or did she stay behind for him?

He shook the thoughts out of his head and smiled down at her. "I'll meet you at the door. It seems a bit more appropriate then us yelling though a window," he spoke with that goofy Kensuke grin.

She nodded and went to the door. She tried to imagine her story in her head again, but it seemed slightly altered then before. She was quite sure that he was thinking something extreme. Such as she came to confess her undying love for him or something. As she walked to the door she rolled her eyes at the thought. Her in love? And with Kensuke? Pah!

On his way to the door, he straightened himself out, not wanting to look like a mess to Asuka. To him, she was near perfection, and she deserved nothing less than perfection. He cleared his throat as he came to the door, taking the knob in his hand a twisting it slowly. Depending on what was going on, this could be the end of his life or the beginning.

As the door open he was tackled by the red headed girl in a giant hug. "Come now Kensuke-kun, we have much to discuss." Kensuke gulped at this. What had he just gotten himself into? Whatever it was, he sure did like this part…

Neoathena: Heh…this chapter was really dull for me to right. Sorry that there isn't any Rei or Shinji in this chapter, but I had to get Asuka's part in the story moving…Anyway thanks for reading and please review!


	15. Hospitals SuckPeriod

Findings of Myself – 15

**NeoAthena- See, I told you I would be getting better with the updates! As per usual I don't own anything but the plot. Thanks to all who added me as a favorite or reviewed! ****It means a lot…**

That afternoon, well, closer to evening, Shinji found himself going back to NERV. He thought it would be nice if he walked Rei home, just to watch her. Her health wasn't so much of the question, but Asuka was. His father was very broad about it, and nothing was specific. It was probably better just to be cautious. He wouldn't want her to get hurt after all.

That thought stuck in his mind. Why did he suddenly care so much? It was a very strange feeling to explore. Of course he cared about others, but this seems elevated compared to them. It was an odd feeling to be experiencing so suddenly. Of course he had thought about the possibility, but never with such heaviness. Did he really want to ruin what was happening now by trying to suggest such a thing? More importantly did he want to take the chance of rejection?

With all this thinking, it certainly made the trip to NERV seem a lot shorter. He smiled at the guard as he swiped his card and entered the pull up door. The shiny metallic walls were not as bright as they normally would be. It had been a while since he had been here after official operating hours, and the dim, power saving lights gave the place a bit of a creepy glow. He walked past the offices of various officers and researcher, most of the lights off and an infinite darkness that seemed to spread even through the glass windows that seemed like a futile barrier between him and that protruding darkness

He cleared his throat and continued to walk on. He didn't want to linger any longer than necessary, he didn't want to keep Rei waiting after all.

Rei stood in the windowless room, watching the door intently. She was told that someone was on their way to pick her up. That was a strange concept all in itself for her. She was never picked up from the hospital section. She was never thought about, other than as a pilot. She thought that maybe Dr. Akagi was coming for her so that questions could be asked. That seemed the most logical reason to her.

The doorknob twisted and the door slowly creaked open. She tried to look as though she was doing something else, but that was hard in the bland and minimally decorated room. After a few seconds and the door opening up a bit more, she just decided to give up and gave that signature blank and endless stare. A nurse stepped in, her pristine white outfit blending in with the bleached out room. Even her smile was like pure snow! Rei blinked at this, a bit disturbed by the stoic nature of this nurse's outfit, teeth, and continuation into of blandness into the room.

"There is a young man outside waiting for you," she said in the kid of sugary sweet voice that all nurses have. Rei simply nodded, not sure if she should disturb the perfect setting. As the nurse stepped to the side, Rei walked out the door and into the hall.

_A young man?_ She thought walking along the corridor. The only person she could think of at that point was Shinji. It seemed weird to her that he would go out of his way to come and pick her up from the hospital. It seemed even stranger that he wo9uld come and get her even though she would see him once she got home.

But, alas, it was Shinji, standing there, as quiet as ever, waiting for her. She blinked, unsure of what to make of the feeling that was suddenly engulfing her. She smiled lightly as she walked towards Shinji. _Could this possibly be love?_ she thought as she walked up to him.

"Hi Rei. Are you feeling better now?" he asked her politely.

"Much better. What exactly happened though, if I may ask you Shinji-kun?" she asked him, looking around to see if any of the nurses were around to finish signing the paperwork for her release.

"Apparently you went after a boy in the class next to ours, and he hit you. Hard. You weren't responding to anything, so my father commanded that you be brought here for evaluation and treatment," he said, the last part sounding bitter, realizing that Rei was still his father's favorite.

As he sorted through his thoughts, the bleached out nurse came, holding what appeared to be Rei's file in hand. She flipped through a few of the pages, finding the bright pink one. Of course the one the patient gets to keep is pink; for they believe the patient will lose it by tomorrow and making it a bright obnoxious color might make it easier to find, or so Rei's thoughts told her. Then she realized how hastily she made those decisions, and how unlike her that was. What was happening to her?

The nurse smiled and handed Rei a pen and the paper, with an 'x' marking the spot where she was to sign. How many times would she have to do this before they got that she could read?


End file.
